I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
