Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
