i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
