She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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