You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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