I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
