I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
