I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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