she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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