You made me cry and you don't even care
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize