I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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