Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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