But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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