she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
