This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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