I don't think brook has ever known best
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
