all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
