You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
