I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
