How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
