dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
