Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
