I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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