i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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