I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize