His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
