if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
its liver damage thursday
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
