Do you still have your period?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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