Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
