And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
