There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
There r osticjed everywhere
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
