God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
