i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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