This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
