she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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