i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize