oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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