At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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