I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
