Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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