P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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