One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
