she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
