i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
