I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
