This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
