just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
