It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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