I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Too much gin, very little bucket
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
