even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
