I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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