are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
