can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
