Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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