youre lurking in front of me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
