Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize