sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
