The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
