i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
