batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize